Fortune’s Opportunities Against Liar’s Yen
by Moonlite Knight
Summary: ‘Don’t get sucked in.’ That was a warning that Holly planned on forcing Foaly to put on his new brand of video games. Right after she beat the game. slight AxH Written for AFFanGathering’s Holiday Fanfiction Exchange.


**_This is my entry for AFFanGathering's Holiday Fanfiction Exchange. Happy Holidays to whomever's prompt I got! Hope you like it!_**

_Prompt:_ Arty & Holly (Foaly, too if you wish)

Fairy-tec video games. Don't get sucked in *hintideahint*. They are addicting.

AF/HS can be paired if it works for you.

_Disclaimer: I asked for the rights to own Arty and co. this holiday. All I got was a box full of coal and a big, ol' poster that said "I DO NOT OWN ARTEMIS FOWL" in rainbow colors. _

**Fortune's Opportunities Against Liar's Yen**

Contrary to popular belief, Foaly did not spend all his spare time scanning the vicinity for mind probes, creating spare protective helmets, or searching for more things to be paranoid about. No, those acts were only performed at the beginning of every month. After that, any free time was spent on various little projects, most of which involved tinkering with Mud Men Technology.

While it was true that fairy (his) technological achievements out shone any Mud Man's (even little Artemis's) by light years, there were a few devices regularly used aboveground that intrigued him. Like, for instance, video games.

Fairies had no use for, or interest in, video games, much to Foaly's intense disappointment. Ever since he had stumbled upon (hacked into) footage of Butler's sister playing with one of those contractions, he had been hooked.

What was so interesting about punching buttons and making little figures dance around a screen, he had pondered at first. There was a little appeal at having complete control over another's life, he had to admit, but the fact that the little people that were being controlled weren't even real was disheartening. If he wanted to control someone, he could just get Holly to _mesmer_ them for him, or invent something to do it for him.

Which got him into thinking about the benefits of creating something like that. A device, not unlike the simulators that were used to train the greenhorn recruits, but much more advanced, as it was his mind that would create it. For some odd reason, he had been forbidden to assist with the creation of the virtual simulations. It was a curse, at times, to possess a wit as his. No one ever seemed to appreciate it.

No matter though, this device would show them just how huge an error they had committed by banning him from that project.

His popularity, already quite abundant, would only increase tenfold with this gadget. His name would be in the homes of every fairy, pixie, imp, and anything in between. He would make a fortune.

Foaly smiled, adjusted his hat, and pressed the on switch.

His metaphorical pot of gold gave a feeble little whine, sparked brightly, and promptly fizzled out.

The centaur sighed. That had been the twelfth time that had happened since dawn. He was going to have to resort desperate measures now, he realized dejectedly as he made his way to the box. Picking it up, he yanked at the wire connecting it to the computer.

The lights flickered once before blinking permanently out of existence. The same phenomenon occurred over a dozen times in every single room in the building.

Oh D'arvit.

*~~~~~~~~~~*

"Please, Holly," Foaly wheedled, trying to draw even the tiniest amount of sympathy from the fairy. "Aren't I your best friend?"

His best friend gave him an unimpressed look from behind the open door of her home.

Foaly valiantly tried again. "It's just a little, tiny favor!"

Holly rolled her eyes and started to close the door. Foaly hurriedly stuck a hoof in the way and winced when the door hit it.

"Haven't I always been there for you through your most dire times?" he said hurriedly, speaking to the crack while pushing at the door, trying to relieve some of the pressure on his poor hoof. "Haven't I always helped you out, no matter how much danger and demotion it meant for me?

Holly sighed, and gave in. "Oh alright." She said rather dryly, as she opened the door wider. "Get in before you resort to emotional blackmail."

Ignoring her tone, the centaur picked up his bags and happily galloped into the room.

"I knew I could count on my best friend," he beamed at fairy. "My superb, benevolent Holly."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at the compliments. "Just how long do you need to stay here?"

Foaly busied himself with dumping his baggage on her maroon coach. "Not too long. Just a few days…a month tops."

Since the coach was occupied, Holly flopped onto her loveseat instead. "What did you do?" she asked, almost dreading the answer.

"Hmm…" Foaly hummed noncommittally as he trotted over the fridge and began shifting through it. "Nothing really…pixies are simply too high strung…"

"There are some carrots in the back," Holly informed him, before turning back to the topic at hand. "Now tell me what you did. I need to know what to lock up."

"Thank you Mother," Foaly said, not entirely sarcastically. He bit into one of the carrots he'd found. "I only shorted out the building and caused a minor fire. No big deal."

He had snacked on two more carrots before Holly replied.

"You are not allowed to mess with anything electronic while you're here, or I swear I will steal your hat and burn it."

Foaly didn't bother to argue. Fairies were such emotional creatures.

*~~~~~~~~~~*

Despite Holly's threats, it only took three hours before she gave Foaly permission to do whatever the heck he wanted as long as it A. did not cause her bodily harm and B. get her kicked out of her apartment. As long as those two conditions were met, she didn't care if he decided to create his very own shuttle port in her bathtub.

He wasn't going to of course. Building a shuttle port in the bathroom was decidedly pointless. Instead, he focused more important matter, namely his video game, which he had now christened, Fortune's Opportunity and Liar's Yen (Copyrighted to Foaly, and Foaly only). A wonderful alternate to simply 'video game'. It was perfect, if he did say so himself.

However, it would be even more perfect if he could actually get it to function without causing property damage. He couldn't keep getting kicked out of homes. Soon he'd have no place to go, and that would simply not do. He sighed and gathered his nerve. Time to make the ultimate sacrifice.

"Holly," Foaly called, poking cautiously at the top of the system for 'Fortune's Opportunity and Liar's Yen'. "I need to talk to Artemis."

"Then talk to him." Holly replied, walking into the room, a book in one hand. She kicked the empty case that he had left in the middle of the room as she made her way to the loveseat. "And clean up this mess. It's too soon for you to become the messy, unbearable roommate."

"I'll get right to it, Mother," Foaly replied. "Right after I hack into your communicator, set up a two way link undetectable link between above and below ground, transfer it to my computer, and make a cheese sandwich."

Holly turned a page in her book. "Will it keep you out of my hair and law enforcements out of my home?"

"Of course," he replied, affronted.

"Knock yourself out."

*~~~~~~~~~~*

On a later date, Holly would regret not taking a greater interest in exactly what Foaly and Fowl were doing from the start. But at that time, she was on vacation. As in, rest and relaxation were her only worries. The fact that her best friend was up to something that was most likely illegal was not. If it kept him occupied until he was allowed back in his own home, then she was willing to turn a blind eye, and a deaf ear if need be. But three days after Foaly recruited Artemis into his secret little project, ignoring the whole project proved impossible. And perilous.

That day, she awoke to find her entire living overtaken by little dust bunnies. Dust bunnies. And they weren't just your average, everyday, ordinary, _inanimate_ dust bunnies. No, these had weedy little arms and legs, eyes far too big for their round bodies, and squeaky little voices. And, worst of all, they _bounced_. Everywhere. She was hit by two in the face upon first entering the room.

Yes, it's quite difficult to ignore something when it's trying to choke you to death.

Swatting the annoying things away with a broom that she had found on the ground and spitting out fluffs of dust, Holly called for one soon-to-be-deceased centaur.

"Foaly! What in Frond's name did you do?"

Surprisingly, there was no answer.

"Get off," she advised a particularly persistent bunny that was hanging off of her bangs. It squeaked in annoyance, but let go when she raised a hand. The bunny landed on the floor next to its brethren and was quickly lost in the squabble.

Holly took a step back, kicking at any bunnies that attempted to use her as a stepladder. They weren't harming her luckily, but the sounds they made were beginning to grate on her nerves. She twitched as one ball of dust dodged the broom and raced up her side. She quickly grabbed it and threw it against the wall. It simply bounced off, squealing unhappily.

Holly shuddered. The dust bunnies didn't seem dangerous, but they were so darn _ticklish_.

There was a noise behind her, from the kitchen entrance. She spun around and found herself facing a very dusty, red faced, rumpled Artemis Fowl.

"Holly," the genius greeted her in a slightly nasal voice, brushing a dust bunny off his shoulder. He calmly ignored the broom and glare that was trained on him. "Nice to see you are awake."

Holly didn't bother with such pleasantries. "I hope there is a very good explanation for this." She growled, jerking her head and causing a bunny to fall squeaking all the way, onto the floor. "And how in Frond's name did you get here?"

Artemis gave her a patronizing smirk. "Of course there is a perfectly good explanation for all this."

"Then let's hear it," she demanded, stomping on a bunny that had been attempting to crawl up her leg.

Artemis glanced briefly at the squashed pile of twitching dust before answering. "Unfortunately, Foaly is the only one who can truly explain this."

Holly didn't lower her broom. "And where exactly is that idiot pony?"

Artemis's calm façade flickered a bit. "Outside."

Holly turned toward the front door with a scowl. "Foaly, get in here and clean your f—!"

"I did not mean outside this room," Artemis interrupted, taking a step back right onto a few bunnies which squealed their annoyance. "I meant, outside this simulation."

"Pardon?" Holly asked, hoping that she had misunderstood. She really, really hoped that she had misunderstood. Please let her have misunderstood.

"We're in a game, Holly," Artemis replied, his red nose wrinkling. "The game Foaly and I invented to be precise."

And then he sneezed.

*~~~~~~~~~~*

"Say that again." Holly said, frowning.

Artemis, who had just spent the past ten or so minutes explaining the situation and detailing how it was in no way his fault, raised an eyebrow at the request, but complied. "Foaly apparently decided that we were the two best individuals to, test, out his 'game'. As far as I can tell, he got you in when you went to bed. I'm not quite sure how I ended up here, but I suspect Juliet had a hand in it."

Holly cared little about Artemis's grievances against his employee.

"So, we're in a game," she repeated, her frown deepening. "A video game. A game called Fortune's Opportunity and Liar's Yen. Fortune's Opportunity and…Foaly."

The genius sighed. "Yes, I was a bit put off by the name as well, but Foaly insisted on it."

Holly groaned, shaking her head and knocking a few bunnies out of her hair in the process. "I never thought I'd ever say this, but your ego is nothing compared to his."

Artemis brushed a bunny off his shoulder. "I believe I shall take that as a compliment rather than the insult it was no doubt intended to be."

"Take what you want," She told him, slamming her broom onto a little colony of bunnies to her right. They immediately scattered apart, squeaking indignantly. "Just get us out of here."

Artemis cleared his throat before answering. "There might be a slight…issue with that plan."

Holly whirred around to face him and the bunnies took that chance to attack her right foot with their weedy arms. She didn't even appear to notice as she demanded, "What issue, Mud Boy?"

"Foaly did not have a chance to reveal how to successfully exit the game," he admitted, an annoyed expression. Holly wasn't sure if he was annoyed by his lack of knowledge, by the fact that he had been downgraded to 'Mud Boy', or by the bunny that was currently attempting to wiggle its way into Artemis's right pocket. She really didn't care either way though.

"Are you saying we're stuck here?" Her grip tightened on the broom handle.

Oh gods. She was stuck in a virtual simulation with Artemis. Forever. Or at least until their brains fried. Neither prospect sounded too appealing.

"I did not say that," Artemis interrupted her thoughts, sounding rather irritated. "He may not have told me, but I do know how to leave."

Holly's eyes narrowed. Something about the way Artemis was acting seemed a bit…suspicious. He was definitely up to something. "Then why haven't you left already?" she asked him.

The chances of Artemis staying trapped longer than was absolute necessary were slim to none, no matter how much he claimed to have changed. Yes, the genius was certainly planning something shrewdly reckless again.

The aforementioned genius sneezed again.

"And what's wrong with you?" Holly asked, curious despite herself. "You're not sick are you?"

Artemis pinched the bridge of his nose as he answered in a voice more nasal than before. "I have a slight dust mite allergy."

"It doesn't seem slight to me," she said, as Artemis released his nose and then sneezed. She batted away a bunny that tired to hop on the boy's shoulder. "Hurry up and tell me how to get out of here before you start sneezing out bits of your brain."

Artemis's brow wrinkled with disgust. "Thank you for that lovely image, Holly," he said, ducking out of the way of a particularly over-excited bunny. "And now, if you are done with that, we need—"

He broke off abruptly and jerked his head to the right, an almost startled look on his face. Holly followed his gaze, but personally, she could not phantom what the genius found so interesting about her coffee table that had now been turned into a diving board for the dust bunnies.

"What is it?" she asked, wondering if perhaps the pyramid that the bunnies had started to construct out of themselves was what had drawn is attention. It was interesting to watching them try to pile on top of each other and then fall apart when one bunny just couldn't stay still any longer.

"Did you hear that?" Artemis asked, frowning. He turned away from the growing pyramid to scan the room, his head titled slightly as though he were listening to something.

"Hear what?" Holly said, cautiously. Should she be worrying right about now?

"Hmm," Artemis turned his gaze on her. "You honestly did not hear Foaly making lewd comments about those creatures just now?"

Holly reached the only solution that could possible make a shard of sense. Artemis's brain was frying. D'arvit, he hadn't even had a chance to tell her how to escape yet.

"Maybe you should—"

Without warning, Artemis pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her.

"What the—!" Holly sputtered, completely caught off guard. She tried to jerk out of his hold, but her body refused to move. Fortunately, her mouth was not similarly paralyzed. "What do you think you're doing, Mud Boy!"

He sneezed. "It's not my fault," he protested, his voice odd. "Foaly—" His voice was cut off as he buried his face in her hair.

"You had better not get any of your snot in my hair," Holly told him, once she realized that she could not jerk out of his reach.

Artemis made a strange sound, a cross between a laugh and a whimper. He raised his head slightly so that his mouth was free and his chin was resting on top of her head.

"Would my informing you that Foaly and I have successfully discovered a way to control individuals within simulations make a difference?" he asked, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

"No." she replied straight away. "Now tell me how to get of here before I bite you."

"Bite?"

"That's the only thing I can possibly do right now," she admitted through clenched teeth. "Don't think that I won't dare."

He told her. She didn't bite him, but she did vow to punch him right after she dealt with the other half of the duo responsible for the whole mess. And then, they passed the game.

_*~~~~~~~~~~*_

_END RESULT = SUCCESSFUL_

Safe in reality, Foaly snickered gleefully as the words flashed upon his computer screen.

Oh, he was going to make a fortune. Who wouldn't pay good gold for the ability to shove their best friends into a room and force them to admit their true feeling for each other?

Many.

A good thing too, since he was going to need every ounce of that money to protect himself once his two test subjects woke up.

**FIN**


End file.
